I Love You, Goodbye
by Katrina1
Summary: When Mulder is returned, Scully is overjoyed. However, when she realizes that everything is not as it seems, her future with Mulder looks grim.


  
  
J. Edgar Hoover FBI Building  
March 21, 2001  
  
When Agent John Doggett heard Dana Scully's  
footsteps in the hallway outside his door, he  
sighed heavily for the fifth time that  
morning. The night before, Doggett had  
dreamed, very vividly, that Mulder would be  
back that day. He hoped it was only a dream,  
for Scully's sake.   
  
When she finally burst into the office, her  
face was a mask, but her eyes sparkled  
hopefully. "Agent Doggett," she said, her  
voice betraying some of her excitement.   
  
"Yes?" he asked, hoping it wasn't true.  
  
"They just found Agent Mulder."  
  
  
Georgetown Memorial Hospital  
  
"He just showed up in the hospital Miss  
Scully," said the ICU doctor. "He doesn't  
show signs of physical trauma, but he seems  
distant and distracted. You may like to speak  
with him yourself, so that you will  
understand what I mean."  
  
Scully nodded, trying to keep the impending  
tears from her eyes. Damn pregnancy, she  
thought. Her hormone levels were all screwed  
up; her doctors said it might have something  
to do with the fact that she had been  
effectively barren before......well, before  
CSM took her.  
  
She walked into his room to find him sitting  
on his bed, staring into space. "Mulder?" she  
whispered, her voice cracking.   
  
"Scully!" When Fox Mulder saw his partner for  
the first time in months, he swore to himself  
that he had never seen anything so beautiful.  
He jumped up from his bed and wrapped his  
arms around her. Her body shook with sobs,  
and he held her tightly. "Scully, oh God  
Scully.." he whispered into her hair,  
dropping butterfly kisses all over her face  
and neck.   
  
"Mulder.." she whispered through her tears.  
Oh thank God, she thought. At least he  
recognizes me. "Oh my God."  
  
They stood like that for a few moments, and  
then Mulder pulled away and held her at arms  
length. He saw a change in her face. Her  
normally rather round face seemed to have  
gotten larger, but he attributed it to her  
tears and ignored it for the moment. "I  
um....Scully, I don't remember any of it. I  
can't... I just can't remember anything past  
the forest in Oregon."  
  
Scully saw the pain in his eyes. "It's  
alright Mulder, it's okay." She hugged him  
again, briefly, and then said, "I have to sit  
down." She walked over to a chair and plopped  
down in it, sighing with relief as the  
tension on her ankles subsided. Her blood  
pressure was way up, and her ankles  
frequently swelled. Thankfully, Mulder hadn't  
noticed yet.  
  
Mulder looked at her and decided that she  
definitely had gained weight. Her face was  
rounder, and she just seemed....softer. Maybe  
she was...  
  
"Agent Mulder," Doggett said as he walked  
into the room. He extended a hand, and Mulder  
took it warily.   
  
"Oh, Mulder this is.." Scully started.  
  
"Agent John Doggett," Doggett finished. "I  
was assigned to the X-Files right after you  
disappeared. It's good to see you looking  
healthy."  
  
Scully noticed that Mulder had started to  
tune Doggett out. He seemed more distant now,  
as the doctor had said. "Agent Doggett, could  
we be alone for a moment?" she said,  
indicating Mulder as the other half of 'we.'  
She had decided that Mulder's distance was  
probably due to the fact that his partner had  
gained at least ten pounds since the last  
time he had seen her.   
  
Doggett noticed that it seemed very important  
to Scully that he leave, so he did so without  
asking questions.   
  
When they were alone again, Scully stood up  
again, and walked over to Mulder. "Mulder I  
need to talk to you about something that's  
becoming harder and harder for me to ignore,"  
she started. "I um...well, right after you  
disappeared, I was hospitalized when I  
fainted during one of those dizzy spells I  
had been having."  
  
Mulder's face took on a look of extreme  
concern. "Was it serious?" he asked, hoping  
that she wasn't about to tell him that her  
cancer had relapsed. But weight gain wasn't  
consistent with the progression of cancer,  
was it? Other illnesses that cause dizzy  
spells... he thought.  
  
  
"Well, yes and no." Scully said. It was  
becoming harder and harder by the minute to  
tell him the news.   
  
"What do you mean Scully?"  
  
She lowered her eyes momentarily, gathering  
her strength."I'm pregnant."  
  
Mulder's mouth dropped open in shock. "Say  
that again?" he squeaked.   
  
She looked back up at him, eyes full of  
tears. "I'm pregnant," she said, louder.  
  
Mulder backed up and fumbled onto his bed.  
"How...?"  
  
She laughed mirthlessly, her eyes dark. "The  
good old fashioned way, Mulder." She knew  
that wasn't what he meant, but it seemed to  
answer the question of paternity.  
  
Mulder's eyes met hers. "Mine?"  
  
"Yours."  
  
  
Dana Scully's Apartment  
11:21 PM that evening  
  
Scully sat on her couch, going over Mulder's  
medical records. The facts that Doggett had  
brought to light at the beginning of the  
search for Mulder glared up at her, daring  
her to ignore them. She tried desperately,  
but in the end, all she could do was cry.  
Mulder would die, likely before their  
daughter was born. Last week her OBGYN had  
told her the sex of the baby. She was going  
to have a baby girl. But would her daughter's  
father be there for her?  
  
Scully put her head in her hands as deep,  
wracking sobs shook her body. In her bedroom,  
she could hear Mulder's quiet breathing, and  
it made her want to die with him. She  
wouldn't accept his fate until the moment of  
its realization, she decided.   
  
Pulling herself up from the couch, Scully  
lumbered slowly into the bedroom. Mulder's  
little snores comforted her; he wasn't dead  
yet, and, knowing him, he would go out  
fighting. She smiled, and curled up in a ball  
against his front. His arms came around her  
automatically--one hand on her swelling  
belly, one under her face--and she fell into  
the rhythm of his heartbeat. Almost  
immediately, she fell asleep.  
  
Mulder was awakened the next morning by an  
annoying alarm clock, which rang out at  
six-thirty. Scully was still sleeping  
peacefully in his arms, and he quickly  
reached over with his freer hand and swatted  
the clock until it turned off. His hand  
returned to her belly, and he sighed happily  
as he felt their daughter move against him.  
His eyes closed lazily, but his happiness  
was short lived. A cutting headache  
interrupted his relaxation, and the pain was  
so intense that he gasped. Scully was awake  
in an instant.  
  
"Mulder what's wrong?" she asked, scared for  
his safety.   
  
"My head..." he gasped out. "Oh my God,  
Scully..."  
  
She looked at his eyes, but they were glazed  
with pain. "Mulder I'm gonna call an  
ambulance. Your temporal lobe may be flaring  
up."  
  
He tried to protest, but he couldn't form  
words right. He gave in to the pain, and let  
it carry him away.   
  
  
Georgetown Memorial Hospital  
A Few Days Later  
  
Dana Scully held her head in her hands as she  
paced back and forth down the hallway next to  
Mulder's room. He had been admitted to the ER  
in critical condition after a PET scan  
indicated that the temporal lobe area  
was in fact showing more electrical energy  
than when he had first been diagnosed with  
the rare condition. Scully knew it didn't  
look good. They were attempting to lower the  
electrical charge in the brain by injecting  
him with high doses of phenatoin. He  
responded to the treatment, but he could  
still hear the voices. The only voice he  
could hear above the rest was Scully's. Her  
thoughts came easily to him; she was thinking  
about him, about his "condition," about a  
treatment. Many of the words he heard were  
complicated medical terms that he would  
normally ask her to explain. He was content  
just to hear the murmur of her thoughts  
inside his head, but one day he heard  
something that knocked the fight back into  
him.   
  
He was listening in on her latest treatment  
plan for him when he saw Doggett walk into  
the room. He couldn't read Doggett's mind  
very well; the man was rather difficult to  
read as it was. But what he said to Scully  
obviously upset her. Her thoughts became a  
jumbled, angry mess. All he could hear was "I  
can't.." and "I won't....up on...." He filled  
in the blanks with "do that" and "give  
....Mulder." He hoped he was right. As he  
tried to disassemble her thoughts, they  
suddenly stopped. She kept repeating one  
phrase inside her head; "What will we do  
without you?"   
  
You'll have me Scully, he promised. He felt  
something like Rose on Titanic; he knew he'd  
never let go of that promise.   
  
  
X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X  
  
Scully tried to comprehend what Doggett had  
just told her. "Agent Mulder's doctor says  
that he will not be able to continue  
phenatoin treatments without killing him."  
  
Her face clouded over, and she was silent for  
a moment. Then she exploded with anger. She  
screamed "I won't give up on him! Do you hear  
me?" Everyone in the room and down the  
hallway had turned and stared at her, but she  
didn't care. "Agent Doggett I know that you  
never really had any respect for Agent  
Mulder, but you never knew him like I did.  
And God dammit Doggett he has to get through  
this! He WILL!!! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?!!!  
ALL OF YOU LISTEN TO ME!! AGENT MULDER WILL  
LIVE, IF I HAVE TO KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF  
YOU TO ACHIEVE THAT GOAL!! Got it?"  
  
She was still trying to digest what Doggett  
had told her. She knew that he couldn't take  
any more phenatoin, but she didn't know what  
else to do. She put her head in her hands as  
her their daughter kicked at her womb.  
"Shhhhhh, it's alright sweetheart, it's  
okay Samantha..." Oh my God, she thought.  
I just named her. Tears came to her eyes;  
tears of both joy and despair. Skinner came  
over to her just as the first escaped down  
her cheek.  
  
"Agent Scully?" he began. "Agent Scully?"  
  
She hadn't heard him the first time because  
of the mantra she was repeating in her head;  
What will we do without him? What will we do  
without him?  
  
Skinner became concerned when Scully didn't  
respond to him. "Agent," he said, touching  
her shoulder.   
  
"Huh!" she started. The tears were streaming  
furiously down her face, and she made a  
desperate attempt to wipe them away. "Sir,  
I'm sorry....What is it?"   
  
"Are you alright Agent Scully?" he asked,  
concern making deep lines on his forehead and  
around his mouth.   
  
"Yes sir," she confirmed, although she wasn't  
sure if she was at all.   
  
"Agent Scully, everyone here thinks you  
should go home and get some rest," Skinner  
started.  
  
"Sir," Scully interrupted. "Sir, I'm not  
going home. And I'm not going to sleep." She  
turned on her heel and returned to her chair  
by Mulder's bedside. Taking his limp hand in  
hers, she tried, for the fourth time in the  
last hour, to squeeze the life back into him.  
Tears were becoming a constant, but she got  
no satisfaction from crying; only a sickening  
sense that she was giving up.   
  
X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X  
  
When Mulder heard Scully name their daughter  
Samantha, he wanted to laugh, cry, and take  
her into his arms and kiss her hard. He knew  
that Samantha had become Scully's sister as  
well, maybe like a daughter to her even  
because they were so much alike. Sam had  
always been an inquisitive girl; even the  
night she was taken she had shown her  
tendency towards science. She refused to  
watch the magic show that he had wanted so  
desperately to see because she believed that  
it was all bogus. When she had first heard  
the story of Santa Claus, she took one look  
at Mom and said, "Mommy, that's impossible."  
She was only three years old!  
  
Scully looked at Mulder's face and thought  
she saw him smile slightly. "Mulder?" she  
whispered, touching his face. "Mulder?" He  
didn't move, but she was sure that she hadn't  
imagined the momentary upward twitch turn  
of his lip. Her resolve not to give up  
strengthened.   
  
Suddenly, the door to the room burst open,  
admitting Alex Krycek. "Hello everybody," he  
said as he clicked off the safety on his 9  
mm. "Nice to see y'all are doing well."   
  
Scully wheeled around and stared him in the  
eye. "What the hell are you doing here?" she  
hissed, eyes blazing.  
  
"Ooohhh, I'm intimidated," Krycek said  
mockingly. He pointed the gun at Scully's  
head. "Not so confident now, are we Agent  
Scully."  
  
Krycek walked casually over to Scully, gun  
leading. "I hope you were enjoying  
lover-boy's company, 'cause that's all going  
straight to hell." He turned the gun  
to Mulder's head, and said, "Don't even think  
about pulling your weapon Scully; I'm not in  
a merciful mood."  
  
"Put it down Krycek!" Skinner yelled from the  
doorway. He pointed his gun at Krycek, who  
immediately moved to kill Mulder. A gun went  
off; Scully couldn't tell which. Suddenly,  
Krycek fell back against her, his limp body  
weighing down on her. "Jesus Christ," she  
whispered.   
  
The medical staff sprung into action, lifting  
Krycek's limp body onto a gurney to take him  
to the OR. One of the nurses got on the phone  
and warned the on call ER doc that he had a  
man coming in with extreme trauma and an  
operation in his near future. Scully ran with  
the gurney as it was transported down the  
hall. She was pregnant, but in great shape  
due to her obsessive compulsive running. She  
felt wrong if she didn't run every day, so  
she ran three miles daily.   
  
When they arrived in the OR, the on call  
doctor had assembled a surgical team, who  
immediately put Krycek under and began  
working to stabilize his vitals and extricate  
the bullet from his side. As she watched,  
Scully tried to decide whether she wanted him  
to live so that she could beat the hell out  
of him, or if she wanted him to die so that  
she didn't have to. Why was he here in the  
first place? she suddenly thought.   
  
The surgical team had stripped him of his  
clothes before they began operating, and a  
nurse had taken them to a room not far from  
there. Scully left the operating room,  
hurriedly washing her hands on the way out.  
She rushed down to the room where Krycek's  
clothes had been deposited, and frantically  
searched all of his pockets. In one she found  
a small syringe and a vial of clear fluid.  
Wrapped around it was a small piece of paper  
with unfamiliar writing on it.   
  
"4 mg into the left temple."  
  
She looked disbelievingly at the vial for  
several seconds, then rushed back to Mulder's  
room.  
  
  
Somewhere in the forests of Virginia  
  
Marita Covarrubius sat at her desk, typing up  
a journal entry. "March 28, 2001. Today I  
saved Agent Mulder's life."  
  
She stopped and reread the brief sentence she  
had wrote, then deleted it and started again.  
"March 28, 2001. Today I put Agent Mulder's  
life in the hands of the most untrustworthy  
man in the world." Once again she reread her  
statement, and decided it fit much better  
with what she was trying to say. She  
continued her entry.   
  
"I put Alex Krycek in charge of saving  
Agent Mulder's life by delivering a 'cure'  
for his mysterious illness to Agent Scully. I  
must say I feel sorry for Agent Scully. She  
carries his child inside of her, and there  
will be nothing unnatural done to terminate  
the pregnancy. On the contrary, measures have  
already been taken to speed it up. The child  
is all-important to the Project; without her  
it will go up in flames. Lighter fluid has  
already been poured over the Project; the  
death of CGB Spender creating this downpour  
of Zippy's Accelerant. The death of Agent  
Mulder will be more than enough to expose our  
work and everything that we have tried to  
create, effectively burning it to the ground.  
I hope Krycek doesn't try anything funny."  
  
  
Georgetown Memorial Hospital  
  
Dana Scully rushed into Mulder's room,  
clutching the precious vial to her chest.  
Skinner rushed over to her. "Agent Scully  
where have you been?" he asked, a sense of  
urgency she couldn't deny in his voice.   
  
"I was checking in on Krycek. It doesn't look  
like he'll make it out of the woods." She  
showed him the antidote. "I found this in  
Krycek's coat pocket. I believe that it can  
save Mulder's life."  
  
Skinner looked down at the floor. "Agent  
Scully," he whispered. "Agent Scully, he's  
slipped into a coma. They don't think he'll  
wake up. He may have only hours left to  
live."  
  
Inside her head, Scully started to scream  
loud and long. All she could manage to choke  
out was, "He's not going to die."  
  
Skinner watched her as she turned and walked  
back to Mulder's side. He saw her take his  
hand and stroke it tenderly, whispering to  
him. He couldn't look at them like this, and  
he turned away.  
  
Scully took Mulder's hand and ran her thumb  
gently across the back of it. "Mulder, I  
found something in Krycek's coat pocket that  
might save your life," she whispered, one  
perfect tear sliding down her cheek and  
landing on his hand. She knew he couldn't  
hear her, he was in a coma for God's sake,  
but she had to tell him anyway. "I'm trying  
to save your life, okay?"  
  
She took out the syringe, sobs shaking her  
body. She filled it to exactly 4 ccs, and  
drew a deep breath. Before she injected it  
into him, she leaned down and whispered into  
his ear, "I love you Mulder." Another tear  
drop landed on his cheek, and she lovingly  
brushed it away. Then, inhaling sharply, she  
injected the liquid into his left temple as  
instructed.   
  
Almost instantly, his eyes fluttered open.  
"Scully?" he whispered through cracked lips.   
  
"Mulder!" she sobbed, leaning down and  
holding him tight. "Oh God."  
  
She stood up and pressed a kiss against his  
dry lips, some of her Vaseline rubbing off on  
him. "That's better," he mumbled, smiling  
faintly.   
  
He tried to sit up, but Scully laid a hand on  
his shoulder to push him back down. "Mulder  
you're sick. Get some rest okay?"  
  
He smiled faintly. "Yes Dr. Scully," he  
quipped.   
  
Her half smile lightened his heart, and he  
smiled back. "Looks like I'm laid up for  
days, huh."  
  
"Yep. Days Mulder. Days."  
  
  
A Few Hours Later  
  
"Mulder?" Scully cooed softly. His eyes  
slowly opened.   
  
"Scully?"  
  
"Mmmm."  
  
"How am I doing?" Mulder sat up in bed. By  
now Scully had given up on making him lie  
down; deciding that it really wasn't worth  
the effort.  
  
"Your vitals are all okay. I checked with  
your doctors; they're going to run a PET scan  
today to make sure that your temporal lobe  
activity is normal." Scully sighed and sat  
down.   
  
Mulder took her hand. "How are you doing?" he  
asked quietly.   
  
Scully looked down at the floor. "I have an  
appointment with my OB-GYN later today. I  
feel fine; a little sick, perhaps, but  
nothing serious or unexpected." She looked  
back up at him. "I um...I named her."  
  
Mulder nodded, as his eyes filled with tears.  
"I know."  
  
Scully was shocked. "How?" she asked,  
unbelieving. Kritschgau had said that he  
could read minds, but she hadn't believed  
him. Now, his statement came as a shock.  
  
"When I started getting headaches; when this  
first started, I would hear voices in my  
head. I thought I was crazy, but I was able  
to read thoughts." Mulder looked over at  
Scully's incredulous expression and pleaded,  
"Don't dismiss the facts Scully; I didn't  
believe it any more than you do. But how  
would I know that you named our daughter  
Samantha?"  
  
Scully gasped. "Oh my God," she whispered.  
The tears that she was now constantly on the  
verge of spilled out yet again, but this  
time, Mulder could take her into his arms.  
How she loved him. It was overwhelming, this  
feeling. Her stomach fluttered; butterflies  
lending her their grace. Samantha kicked  
happily, and Scully was almost sure she'd  
heard a little gurgle. She smiled despite her  
tears, feeling Mulder's strong hand on her  
stomach and Samantha kicking her daddy.  
  
Mulder chuckled. "I never realized how much  
life was worth," he said over Scully's  
shoulder. "I always felt it was expendable;  
not worth much in the grand scheme of things.  
There was the Truth, that was my life. I had  
no real appreciation for everything that I  
saw around me. Did you know, Scully, that I  
never stopped to smell a flower as a kid?  
Samantha.....Samantha used to smell all kinds  
of flowers." He began to cry on her shoulder.   
She could feel his salty tears through her  
white maternity blouse and she tightened her  
hold on him; mothered him. Sam kicked against  
her again, and she shushed her daughter and  
her lover alike.  
  
"Shhhhh, it's alright Mulder. You're not gone  
yet," Scully assured him. "Hush...shhh," she  
cooed.   
  
"Scully," he whispered, pulling back and  
looking into her eyes. They were an amazingly  
bright shade of green; Mulder noticed that  
her normally blue eyes turned green when she  
was angry or upset. "Scully, I want to take  
advantage of life with you and Sam. Please,  
please help me to live again," he said.   
  
His pleading expression broke Scully's heart,  
but he gave her no time to confirm her  
agreement. Taking her face in his hands, he  
crushed his lips to hers, his tongue firmly  
but gently taking control of her mouth.  
  
Scully's strangled sigh turned a few heads,  
but they all quickly turned away when they  
realized what was going on. The only one who  
couldn't turn away was Skinner, whose shocked  
expression would have given Mulder a fatal  
attack of hysterical laughter, had his eyes  
not been closed in concentration. He wanted  
to drive Scully mad, even if it was in the  
middle of a crowded hospital room. Hey, ever  
since he was a kid he had wanted to kiss  
someone passionately in a crowded room like  
they did on TV.   
  
Scully's rational mind had been thrown to the  
wind as soon as her hormone levels had  
freaked out, so she was thoroughly enjoying  
this...what did Trent call it?...PDA: Public  
Display of Affection. She almost chuckled to  
herself thinking of her godson. She  
remembered his sixth birthday party in '93;  
the one where she had met that God-awful  
divorced father who couldn't even carry on a  
conversation over dinner. And now, this year  
he would be turning 14. It was amazing  
watching him grow up; watching him struggle  
through seventh grade. His girlfriend, a girl  
name Maggie whom Dana had never met in  
person, was big on PDAs.  
  
When they finally broke apart, she smiled at  
him and kissed his forehead. The head doctor  
approached them rather uncomfortably and  
said, "Mr. Mulder, we'll be taking you down  
for a PET scan now. We're hoping the activity  
in your brain has calmed down."  
  
"I have to go to my appointment Mulder, but  
I'll be right back if everything's alright."  
She squeezed his hand. "Good luck."  
  
He smiled after her as she left, and he was  
wheeled off down the hall.  
  
  
Somewhere in the forests of Virginia  
  
Marita Covarrubius had received some  
information from an unknown source that Alex  
Krycek was in critical condition. Her mind  
told her not to care; that it was  
inconsequential to her. But her heart, which  
he had broken then stomped all over, still  
belonged to him. Oh hell, she thought. I  
might as well tell him, even though he's  
selfish, unfeeling bastard.  
  
Out the door she went.  
  
  
Georgetown Memorial Hospital  
That night  
  
Scully walked into the lab, a growing sense  
of apprehension in her belly. "What did you  
find?" she asked the doctor who greeted her.  
  
"Well," the doctor said, "We couldn't  
finished the battery of tests because Agent  
Mulder started to fight us. When he had  
calmed down, he told us he didn't remember  
any of his strange actions. I had him put in  
restraints; he attacked an orderly a few  
hours ago."  
  
Scully's face turned pale. "Any indication of  
increased electrical activity in his temporal  
lobe?" she asked, hoping the answer was no.   
  
"Yes and no. From the images we got, we were  
able only to see his temporal lobe from one  
side; the right. Now I don't want to jump to  
any conclusions, but it looks as if he may  
have an advanced growth in his right temporal  
lobe."  
  
Scully's face fell. "A tumor?" she managed to  
squeak out.  
  
The doctor nodded slowly. "You should take a  
look at the images yourself. We're having  
some difficulty determining what it is; we'll  
have to get some X-rays to better determine  
the placement." He walked over to the  
computer, pulled up a file, and beckoned  
Scully to come see.   
  
Her heart fell to the floor. There was an  
area of highly increased electrical activity  
in his temporal lobe, just as the doctor had  
said. But instead of it being everywhere as  
before, it was in a mass about 2 centimeters  
in diameter, indicating a brain tumor. "Well  
we'll have to run some tests," Scully  
conceded. "The placement of the tumor  
suggests that it may be operable."  
  
The doctor looked at her strangely. "Miss  
Scully, the placement of the tumor makes it  
nearly impossible without severe  
consequences. It's right next to the limbic  
system. We couldn't remove it without  
damaging his hippocampus."  
  
Scully sighed. "I know, I'm sorry. I feel  
trapped. My um...my daughter won't have a  
father if we can't get rid of this thing."  
  
Before she burst into tears, Scully left the  
room to regain her composure. Then she  
started down the hall towards Mulder's room.  
  
  
Alex Krycek's ICU bed  
  
Marita Covarrubius looked down at Krycek's  
unmoving form. He was in a coma, and it  
didn't look like he'd make it out of the  
woods. Tears formed in her eyes, but she  
brushed them away impatiently. "Selfish  
bastard," she whispered.  
  
  
Mulder's room  
  
"Scully?" he asked pitifully. "Why are they  
restraining me?"  
  
She sighed. "Mulder you attacked an orderly  
earlier today."  
  
"What?" he asked, disbelieving.  
  
  
"Dr. Kaiser told me. He said that you didn't  
remember anything afterwards."  
  
"That's ridiculous, Scully."  
  
She averted her eyes, then met his again.  
"Mulder you may have a brain tumor."  
  
"What?" he exclaimed.  
  
"I confirmed it myself Mulder; we hadn't seen  
it before because of your other condition."  
  
"Is it operable?" he asked, still shocked.  
  
She looked up at him. "Not without serious  
consequences."  
  
"But it can be done." It was a statement, not  
a question.   
  
"Mulder I'm not sure. Speak with your doctor  
about it. We're going to run some X-rays  
tomorrow, and maybe we'll have a better idea  
of what it is that we're looking at here."  
She got up to go, but Mulder stopped her.   
  
"Scully what did your doctor say?"  
  
Scully shivered slightly. "She said that  
Samantha has been showing signs of rapid  
growth, and that she would be a healthy baby,  
but that I'll be delivering within two months  
if Sam follows the grow pattern she's been  
following."  
  
Mulder blinked back tears. "They couldn't  
just leave us alone, could They Scully."   
  
She nodded slowly, then left for her  
apartment.  
  
  
Georgetown Memorial Hospital  
X-ray room  
The Next Day  
  
Scully watched Mulder get the X-rays taken  
through the glass window in the room. Her  
face was a mask of professionalism. Skinner  
was amazed at her newly regained composure  
despite her hormone levels. He had always  
known that Scully would never be the same  
after Mulder' return; her professional  
reputation was already irreparably damaged,  
and the rest of her life would be very  
strange, with her daughter never meeting her  
father. He didn't even want to think about  
it.   
  
Scully's professional facade was what she  
called auto piolet. She hadn't kept her  
emotions in check during her search for  
Mulder because they seemed to help her out  
when dealing with some of the idiots she was  
forced to del with on a regular basis. They  
also worked on John Doggett; she thought she  
had lost all sex appeal when the rumors about  
herself and Mulder had begun in their first  
year together, but John Doggett was still  
reduced to a pitiful little man when she  
cried or went off on him. It was interesting  
the way he reacted to her; as if he felt  
inferior. Suffer, victim, she thought.  
  
Mulder wore a mask of indifference, but  
behind it he showed all the signs of becoming  
a raving lunatic. It was very likely, he  
concluded, that he would die before Sam was  
born; before he got a chance to see his  
sister in the form of his daughter. Knowing  
this added an extra burden to an already  
heavy bundle. He wanted so badly for  
everything to be alright, but he knew that it  
couldn't as long as he was who he was.  
  
When the X-ray battery was complete, Scully  
waited impatiently for the images to be  
developed. When they were, she saw confirmed  
what she had already suspected: Mulder had a  
brain tumor. It was a large mass between his  
limbic system and the right portion of his  
cortex. There seemed to be no way to operate  
without severely damaging the limbic system,  
effectively rendering Mulder without short-  
term memory.  
  
Mulder walked in as Scully continued to stare  
disbelievingly at the X-ray. "Scully?"  
  
"Mulder. It's confirmed, I guess," she said  
quietly. Scully had a very strong sense of  
deja-vu, and remembered that this was the  
same room where she had told Mulder about her  
own cancer. But you lived, Dana, she  
thought bitterly.  
  
Mulder had very bad memories of this room.  
Scully's announcement four years ago still  
haunted him, especially because she seemed so  
calm while he was crumbling inside. "Well,  
what are the risks of an operation?" he  
asked. His sense of urgency had increased,  
because of Scully's....condition. It was  
becoming very obvious that Sam was growing  
much, much faster than normal. Scully had  
started buying her new maternity clothes in  
nine month size because she knew they would  
fit her in about a week. Every day she looked  
bigger. She was lucky that she was in such  
good shape; any other woman would have been  
bedridden.   
  
"Mulder, I won't risk an operation. It would  
cause permanent damage to your short term  
memory banks, and to your emotional centers.  
The only way we can try to treat this is with  
radiation and chemotherapy, and I don't even  
know how well we'll do!" She realized that  
she was shouting at him, and bit her lip to  
keep her voice in check. "I'm sorry. Damn  
hormones," she mumbled.   
  
Mulder took a step towards her and placed his  
hand on her expanding stomach. He could swear  
he could almost feel it getting bigger.  
"Scully, I would walk through hell to survive  
this thing. Tell me what I need to do; I'll  
do it."  
  
"Mulder, you have cancer. Cancer can't be  
cured like a cold; there's nothing we can do  
that's certain." She felt Samantha moving  
within her, and decided that she definitely  
was getting big. This is going to get  
painful, she thought. Her sharp remark had  
hurt Mulder, she saw, but Sam's movement had  
dulled the pain. He was fascinated with the  
life they had created.   
  
"Scully, I will be there when she's born, I  
promise," he said quietly.   
  
"I know Mulder," Scully sighed. "But what  
about after that?"  
  
  
A Month Later  
  
Scully had decided that chemotherapy wasn't  
going to help Mulder very much, so she had  
the doctors use a high-density radiation  
treatment which singled out the tumor. The  
idea was to concentrate a thin but extremely  
"toxic" beam of radiation into the tumor. It  
was more precise than conventional radiation,  
and required only two treatments. The first  
time he received showed him how painful it  
could be, but the treatment seemed to have an  
effect; after a week, the tumor began to  
shrink.   
  
At her next appointment, Scully was told by  
her doctor that Samantha would be fully  
developed and turned in about a week,  
consistent with the original projection.  
Meaning that Scully and Mulder were prepared  
at any time for Scully to go into labor.  
Scully called her mom and informed her of the  
events of the past month, and told her that  
she was due in only a week.   
  
Mulder convinced her to go to a class for new  
parents, and it turned out to be a welcome  
break from the hospital room. They also  
learned some good delivery tips, which Scully  
took with a grain of salt. She wasn't sure if  
she wanted an epidural, but with Samantha  
being a big baby, Mulder was convinced that  
she should have one. He said that if she was  
in too much pain, his own pain would double.  
She had smiled at that remark; cancer had  
made him a much more sentimental person. His  
quest had been put on hold until he could  
recover, and it forced him to find things to  
do with himself.   
  
He had been put in a nice, sunny private  
room; partly due to the fact that the medical  
staff knew them so well. It was,  
coincidently, only a two minute walk from  
there to the maternity ward.   
  
Skinner checked in on them every day, usually  
after work. He told Mulder repeatedly that he  
was sorry about the way he had treated him,  
as if he was dead already. Scully had taken  
him aside and reminded him that her partner  
was very much alive, and that if the tumor  
kept responding to the radiation, he would be  
fine.   
  
Mulder had lost a lot of weight because of  
his treatments, but he always joked that the  
extra twenty Scully had added to her small  
frame made up for the ten that he had lost.  
Scully almost punched him for that remark;  
instead she just said, "It's not fair!"  
  
A week after Mulder's radiation treatments,  
Scully was taking a shower in the hospital  
bathroom when her water broke. "Oh God." She  
was more exasperated than anything else.  
"Mulder, my water broke!" she called.   
  
He was by her side when the first real  
contraction started. "Oh owww!" she gasped,  
doubled over. Poor Mulder was in a panic. He  
wasn't used to seeing Scully reacting to pain  
unless it was really bad, and apparently he  
had missed the part of pregnancy that  
included a painful delivery process.   
  
"Okay Scully, let's go; walk slowly now..."  
Apparently he had forgotten the part about  
putting on clothes before you exit the  
bathroom and wander down the hallway, which  
Scully had to remind him about. He was  
envious of her coolness, even as another  
contraction hit her as she tried to pull on  
her skirt.   
  
"Ouch!" she cried, laughing. "Sam, come on,  
Mommy's gotta get dressed first."   
  
Mulder watched his partner with disbelief.  
The poor woman was going through some pretty  
painful contractions, and yet she was  
laughing and looked better than he'd seen her  
in years. He himself didn't feel so good  
anyway lately, the radiation treatment wasn't  
exactly wonderful for what remained of his  
headaches. And here he was, trying to help  
his wife (he had already started to think of  
her as such) get through labor, and she was  
doing a better job herself!  
  
When Scully finally got dressed, she and  
Mulder walked relatively quickly down the  
hall to the maternity ward.  
  
  
Later that night  
  
Mulder called Maggie Scully from Scully's  
bedside, telling her the news. "Yeah, she's  
not really proceeding to quickly right now,  
but she wants both of us here before the  
thick of it."  
  
"Let me talk to her," Maggie asked, pride in  
her eyes.  
  
Mulder handed the phone to his partner, who  
he was walking up and down the hall. "Scully,  
your mom."  
  
She smiled and took the phone from him. "Hi  
mom," she said, grateful to hear her mom's  
voice.  
  
"How are you doing Dana?" Maggie asked.   
  
"Well, as of right now, not to bad all things  
OW! considered," she gasped. "Ouch!" she  
exclaimed. "Mom, you better get down here  
double time."  
  
"I'm coming Dana. Hold on sweetheart."  
  
Maggie hung up, Mulder took Scully's arm, and  
they resumed their pacing.  
  
  
An Hour Later  
  
Maggie had been at the hospital for almost  
forty five minutes, but Dana hadn't seemed to  
make any progress while she was there. Dana  
was now lying down, a cup of ice on her  
stomach. When a contraction hit she would  
squeeze Mulder's hand as if her life depended  
on it, and he would lean down and kiss her  
forehead, then pretend to scold Samantha for  
hurting her mom. "As soon as you're born  
you're going into a year-long time out!" he  
would scold, directing his comments at  
Scully's burgeoning belly.   
  
Maggie watched the couple happily, helping  
Dana when she needed it. However she had  
begun to worry. Because of the lack of  
progress, Dana was extremely tired already,  
and she was going to have no energy left for  
the actual birth.  
  
Under cover of getting more ice (which she  
did anyway) Maggie went to talk to Dana's  
doctor about giving her something to speed up  
her labor. She had reasonably concluded that  
Dana's body wasn't entirely ready to go  
through with the labor because of the  
decreased gestation time of her daughter. The  
doctor had already warned Dana about this  
complication, so she agreed to have it done.  
  
Mulder couldn't understand why they had to  
drug Scully so that her labor would proceed  
faster. She was already in enough pain!  
"Scully why are they drugging you up, huh?"  
he said, only half joking.  
  
"Mulder I'm not quite going as fast as OW!!!"  
she screamed, grabbing his hand in a death  
grip. "Jesus! Ouch!"   
  
Poor Mulder. Having never had the opportunity  
to see a woman give birth, he was terrified  
that Scully was being hurt more than  
necessary. "Scully," he asked, somewhat  
sheepishly. "Is it supposed to hurt this  
much?"  
  
His lost expression made her smile. "Mulder,  
I'm doing a lot better than some, trust OW!!!  
sorry, trust me." She squeezed his hand  
again. "But I'll tell you this; I'll never  
again complain about having a cold."  
  
Mulder smiled. Scully thought it was normal,  
therefore, he believed it was normal too. And  
it was.  
  
  
An Hour Later  
  
"Alright let's get her to delivery," the  
doctor said. Scully smiled at her partner,  
even though she couldn't really concentrate  
on anything but how much her bottom half  
hurt.   
  
"Here we go," Mulder whispered to her as he  
followed them down the hall. Her hand  
remained clamped over his left; before it had  
been his right, but she had squeezed it so  
hard that three of his fingers were broken  
and bent in various unnatural directions. It  
hurt, but he wasn't willing to let it get to  
him.  
  
She nodded, unable to speak. When they  
finally got into the delivery room, things  
went very smoothly. It seemed like no time at  
all before she was resting comfortably,  
breast-feeding her daughter and crying  
hysterically. She was so beautiful; even if  
she did have an unruly tuft of dark hair.  
  
Mulder's own face was covered with tears.  
Mrs. Scully had held Samantha right after  
Dana, because she had to get home so that  
Charlie wouldn't drive up to his mom's house  
empty. After she left, Mulder and Scully had  
been left alone with their daughter. Watching  
Scully breast-feed their baby girl was  
amazing. He had never seen anything like  
mother and daughter together at last. She  
looked up at him, immutable joy shining  
brilliantly from her eyes, and said, "She's  
done. I need some sleep; will you hold her  
and put her to sleep?"  
  
Mulder smiled as she handed him their  
daughter. She was beautiful, even if her nose  
was slightly to large for her face. Her  
mother's eyes and pale skin glowed underneath  
her dad's hair and mouth. She wasn't crying  
or fussing, merely enjoying being with her  
parents. Mulder held her tenderly, supporting  
her flimsy neck, and rocked her as he  
whispered a lullaby in his low, gravely  
voice. "Hushaby, don't you cry/Go to sleep  
little baby/When you wake/You shall take/All  
the pretty little horses/Blacks and  
bays/Dapples and grays/All the pretty little  
horses/Hushaby, don't you cry/Go to sleep  
little baby." As her perfect little eyes  
closed, he knew that he would do anything for  
his daughter.  
  
  
A week later  
  
Scully stood outside the radiation therapy  
room, on the radiation oncology floor. She  
was holding her daughter, Samantha Ellen  
Mulder, in one arm, and in the other hand she  
held a large diaper bag. Watching Mulder go  
through the radiation therapy was a nerve-  
wracking experience; after this treatment, if  
the cancer survived, they could do nothing  
else for him. Samantha seemed to be  
concentrating on her Daddy just as hard as  
her Mommy, and the quizzical expression on  
her face made Skinner smile.   
  
Samantha was a beautiful baby, Skinner  
noticed. She seemed to have inherited the  
bets traits from both of her parents, and  
knowing them, she would be one hell of a  
student. It tore him up to see Mulder and  
Scully having to go through this; both of  
them had large bags under there eyes from  
lack of sleep. Scully's maternity leave was  
supposed to allow her some time to relax, but  
with Mulder in the hospital it just ended up  
taking more out of her. Bill's son was in the  
hospital with meningitis, so Mrs. Scully  
wasn't available for baby-sitting. They were  
going to release Mulder from the hospital  
after this treatment, so he could hopefully  
go home and help Scully out.   
  
As the large machine circled around his head,  
Mulder felt a tremendous sense of foreboding.  
Scully had told him that if this treatment  
failed, the cancer would progressively invade  
his body and eventually kill him. She said  
that if the tumor responded as well to the  
treatment this time around as last time, then  
there should be no problem, but what if it  
didn't? How was Scully going to explain to  
Sam what had happened to her father? He had  
made out his will and left everything of  
sentimental value to Scully, and everything  
of value to his work to the Gunmen with  
strict instructions NOT to look at it until  
Scully had seen it and felt confident that  
she knew the information.   
  
Finally, the machine stopped moving, and the  
nausea he always experienced after therapy  
took over. He nodded towards the bathroom,  
and Scully nodded back, as a sort of "We'll  
meet you there." She walked over to the  
bathroom and walked in to change Sam's  
diaper. Mulder joined them a minute later,  
and his vomiting into the toilet made the  
baby cry. "Shhh, it's okay Sam, shhh, don't  
worry." A little lullaby came to mind.  
  
"Lullaby  
And goodnight  
In the sky stars are bright  
Round your head  
Flowers gay  
Set your slumbers till day  
  
"Lullaby  
And goodnight  
In the sky stars are bright  
Round your head  
Flowers gay  
Set your slumbers till day  
  
"Close your eyes  
Now and rest  
May these hours be blessed  
Close your eyes  
Now and rest  
May these hours be blessed."  
  
Sam's eyes drifted closed as Scully hummed to  
tune softly. Mulder watched, entranced, as  
his normally professional partner lulled  
their daughter to sleep. He had never really  
thought about the wonderful nature of  
parenthood, he had only considered the  
screaming, the whining, crying, boo boos,  
Halloween costumes; everything that could  
possibly go wrong. He had never seen the  
beautiful side of it. Oh well, he'd get to  
know it well, he hoped.  
  
  
Dana Scully's Apartment  
  
She couldn't believe it. She had just  
received the X-rays in the mail, and her  
mouth had fallen open in shock. The tumor was  
getting bigger. It wasn't going into  
remission as they had hoped; Mulder's night  
sweats and frequent headaches were due to the  
tumor's rapid growth. There was nothing they  
could do, no treatment in site. He was going  
to die.  
  
She expected tears, hoped for them, but all  
she could feel was dull shock. Sam could feel  
the change in her mom, Scully had become more  
automatic, fulfilling her duties as a mother  
without any emotion. Samantha had become more  
irritable, more easily excited. Mulder had  
just started to wither. He lost weight at an  
amazing pace; his thick, strong arms went  
limp. He became a ghost of his former self; a  
haunted shell.  
  
Scully had become her worst fear: a women in  
extreme shock. There's nothing, it's over,  
she screamed inside her head. Mrs. Scully  
came over to take care of the baby, and  
Scully just lay next to Mulder all day,  
feeling her life leave with his. Months  
passed, but all she could do was lay beside  
him and feel his pain.   
  
The days passed slowly, without end, but one  
day her mother came to the house with someone  
else. "Dana!" she called, in a falsely  
cheerful voice. "Dana, I'm here! I've brought  
someone to see you and Fox!"  
  
Dana Scully pulled herself out of bed,  
realizing that the twenty pounds she had  
gained during her pregnancy had vanished,  
along with an added fifteen. She was down to  
an extremely unhealthy weight of 90 pounds;  
her skin clung to her bones, making her  
sunken face and defeated eyes stand out;  
making her a skeleton. She walked out to the  
front hall slowly, feeling how much her  
nightgown sagged off of her skin. Standing  
behind her mother in the door was Father  
McCue.   
  
"Dana, I went out and bought two rings, one  
in your size and one in Fox's. I brought  
Father McCue along to ah, to marry you." She  
looked at her defeated daughter, her eyes  
reflecting Dana's own hopelessness.   
  
Father McCue stepped in, his kind face not  
betraying his shock at seeing Dana Scully,  
the strong one, like this. Her eyes filed  
with tears when her mother told her why he  
was here, and he could barely escape crying  
himself.   
  
"Oh Mom," Dana whispered, falling into her  
mother's arms. "Mom, I'm so scared."  
  
Maggie felt her daughter's tears on her  
shoulder, and wet herself. "I am too Dana. I  
am too."  
  
Somehow, Mulder had managed to pull his shell  
of a self out of bed, and was walking with  
some difficulty down the hall. He saw Scully  
and her mother crying together, and felt more  
hopeless than ever. He knew that he was  
dying; he could feel it. He had known it that  
morning.  
  
When he woke up to find Scully gone, he  
crawled out of bed and limped over to  
Samantha's crib. He had intended to pick her  
up and hold her close, just as he had wanted  
to do for so long. But when she opened her  
eyes and saw him, she let out a scream of  
terror. He was so far gone that his own  
daughter was frightened of him. That had  
broken his heart; had killed any spark that  
was still living inside of him. His own  
daughter, the daughter he had pledged his  
life too, was afraid of him. His whole world  
fell apart that morning; his heart had died  
and his soul along with it.   
  
Samantha didn't know him anymore; Samantha  
couldn't see that he couldn't live without  
her love. He was lost, a hopeless wanderer on  
a barren plain. His heart and soul torn from  
his shell of a body, all he had left was his  
impending death. He had gone to find Scully,  
to tell her that he had nothing left, when he  
saw her crying with her mother in the hall.  
"Scully?" he had whispered, his once smooth  
voice ravaged by pain and knowledge of his  
fate.   
  
She turned and saw him standing there, a  
hopeless look in his eyes. All she could see  
was him, her partner, her lover, and her best  
friend. All she could see was all those  
things being stolen from her, like precious  
gems from the mine of her now fragile heart.  
"Mulder," she replied, walking over to him.  
She stood on tip toe and placed a gentle kiss  
on his mouth; the mouth once so beautiful and  
now so shriveled and hopeless. "Mulder, Mom  
brought the man who you met earlier, Father  
McCue. She um, she also brought rings and a  
marriage license."  
  
Mulder realized what she was trying to say,  
and some hope returned. "Scully, I would be  
honored," he whispered, his lip trembling. He  
was becoming extremely tired standing on his  
feet, but he held out for Scully's sake.  
  
"Mulder I love you," she whispered back, her  
tears not able to hide her small smile from  
Mulder. He collapsed into her arms, eyes  
closed happily. His headache was constant  
now, but he tried not to pay attention to it  
during this sacred moment. Father McCue took  
Mrs. Scully's hand as she burst into tears,  
and he let her take some comfort in his  
strong facade.  
  
Finally he said to Mulder and Scully, "I know  
that this may not seem conventional but um,  
would you" -he nodded towards Mulder -"like  
to hold your daughter during your marriage?"  
  
Mulder's eyes filled with tears, and he  
turned to Scully. "Samantha's afraid of me,"  
he confessed to Scully. "I wanted to hold her  
this morning, but she was afraid of me."  
  
His tears spilled over, and Scully stood up  
and kissed them away. "Mulder, you're her  
father. She will never, ever forget you; I  
won't let her, okay?" With one final kiss,  
she walked over to Samantha's room. Mulder  
could hear her cooing softly to her baby as  
she (presumably) dressed her up and quickly  
fed her.   
  
During this time, Mrs. Scully took the  
opportunity to give Fox a big hug and a kiss.  
"Fox, you have always been my son. Never,  
ever will that change."   
  
He smiled at her, wishing that his own Mother  
had felt the same way. "Thank you Mom," he  
said. The title lit up Maggie's face, and,  
frankly, Mulder felt better too.  
  
Scully carried Sam into the room. Sam's smile  
at seeing her grandma was short lived, when  
she saw Mulder she screamed again. "Shhh,  
it's alright Sam," Dana cooed. She handed the  
baby to Mulder. She screamed even more, and  
Mulder's expression broke everyone's heart.  
"Sam, it's Daddy Samantha. Shhhh," she cooed,  
more softly.  
  
"Samantha," Mulder whispered, his voice  
cracking. She stopped wailing abruptly, as if  
she had heard something in the distance. He  
saw his advantage, and started to rack her as  
he sang.   
  
"Hushaby, don't you cry  
Go to sleep little baby  
When you wake  
You shall take  
All the pretty little horses  
  
"Blacks and bays  
Dapples and grays  
All the pretty little horses  
  
"Hushaby, don't you cry  
Go to sleep little baby."  
  
He was relieved and overjoyed when Sam looked  
up at him, an expression of understanding on  
her face, and gurgled, "Dada." The fingers  
that had been in her mouth came out and  
grabbed her Dada's nose.   
  
He smiled at her, his happiness apparent, and  
leaned in and gave her an Eskimo kiss. "Right  
back atcha'," he whispered.  
  
Sam giggled at him, and Scully saw Mulder's  
pitifully shriveled, defeated face light up  
joyfully. He balanced the baby on his right  
hip, and said, "Father, I believe I have been  
blessed."  
  
With that, Dana Scully and Fox Mulder were  
married. The short little ceremony fulfilled  
Dana's hope that they would be bound for  
eternity, and Mulder felt like the luckiest  
man alive. Shortly afterward, however, he had  
to give in to his fatigue and fell asleep on  
the couch, Sam asleep on his chest.   
  
Scully looked lovingly at the pair, both  
drooling and snoring, and then thanked her  
mom and Father McCue for their genius. She  
also sent her mother home for a much-needed  
break, and decided that she was going to  
start eating again, even though food didn't  
really appeal to her.   
  
  
A Week Later  
11:21 P.M.  
  
Dana Scully woke up with a sickening feeling  
that something was very wrong. When she awoke  
she immediately checked on Sam, but her  
daughter was sleeping peacefully. As she  
crawled back into bed, she realized that  
Mulder was struggling to breathe. "Mulder!"  
she said, her voice conveying her panic.  
"Mulder!" she said louder, shaking him in a  
desperate attempt to stop the horrible sounds  
he was making.   
  
"Scully," he rasped, his mouth barely moving.  
"Scully, please help Sam remember me," he  
pleaded. "Please don't let her forget me."  
  
Her heart stopped, then began again at a rate  
of about 8,000 beats per millisecond. "Mulder  
listen to me. You're not going to die now, do  
you hear me Fox? YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DIE!"  
she screamed, losing all control. Sam started  
to cry hysterically, but all she could do was  
shake him more. "Mulder?" she pleaded, choked  
with sobs. "Mulder!"  
  
He nodded, his breath slowing. "Bring Sam,  
the baby's crying," he whispered, eyes  
fluttering helplessly. "Let me say goodbye,  
please."  
  
The horror that overtook her was beyond  
anything she ever felt capable of feeling. It  
blinded her with age and sorrow. She tried to  
comply, but her legs didn't seem to be  
working. His shaking hands were increasing  
her sense of urgency, and finally she  
frantically scrambled out of bed. Running  
down the hall she picked her screaming  
daughter up from her crib and raced back to  
her dying husband's bedside. On the way into  
the room she reflexively turned the lights  
on, revealing Mulder's bluish tint.   
  
"Mulder?" she whispered, running over to the  
bedside. Shaking, she started mouth to mouth.  
He started breathing again, but she knew he  
wasn't going to make it through the night.  
Placing Sam down beside him, she started to  
sob when she heard Sam whisper, "Dada?"  
softly, her little eyes full of tears.  
Somehow she knew what was happening to her  
Daddy, and she understood that there was  
nothing to be done. He looked over at his  
daughter and smiled faintly. "Hi Sam," he  
managed. "Daddy won't see you again for a  
while, but I promise that I'll be watching  
you. On your first day of preschool until you  
graduate with high honors, I'll watch over  
you. When you..." He paused for air, then  
continued. "When you get married, get  
pregnant, all through your life I'll watch  
over you and your children, guard you all  
from harm. And take care of your mommy, okay  
Sam? Don't let anyone hurt your mommy,  
because she's the best person alive, and  
you're so lucky that she's your mom."  
  
Tears flowed down Scully's face, her eyes  
brilliantly green, as Samantha laid down on  
her fathers chest and listened to his  
heartbeat. In minutes she was asleep.  
  
Scully laid down next to Mulder, tears  
flowing with complete abandon. "Mulder,  
please don't leave me Mulder. Please, please  
hold on," she whispered, choking. "I can't do  
this without you Mulder, I can't take care of  
my baby if all I can think of is killing  
myself."  
  
He grabbed her hand with surprising strength,  
and his eyes flashed briefly. "Dana Katherine  
Scully," he wheezed, trying to breathe. "You  
are the most capable, loving, wonderful  
person I have ever known in my entire life,  
and I will die all over again if you stop  
now. Listen to me," he said, wincing. "I love  
you. I love you more than life itself. You  
are my life. And now I can die with you by my  
side, to hold me and comfort me while my mind  
slips away. I'll look in on you too, where  
ever I go. I can't imagine not seeing you  
until you join me in whatever lies beyond.  
That's why you have to hold on," he wheezed.  
"Please, please hold on for me Scully."  
  
She nodded, mute. Finally she choked out,  
"Fox, I love you."  
  
And as Mulder's eyes closed for the final  
time, he whispered, "I love you, I love you,  
I love you.." He trailed off, and she could  
barely hear the last words. "I love you,  
goodbye."  



End file.
